school is in session

as i have previously stated, i took what my father calls a "sabbatical" from work. also known as he had to support me for six months while i "found myself" for about the third time. we are all hoping this one sticks...fingers crossed!



now that i am back in the working world and it is a little like the first day of school after summer. you know what you are supposed to do, how to behave but everything feels awkward and stiff. i find myself having strange conversations with complete strangers about - well anything really - in an attempt to get over my awkwardness. my voice seems to have no octave control and i sweat a lot. the latter due to the fact my office seems to like the heat on even during 72 degree weather.



and so, after 2 weeks in this new job, i was reminded of all the lessons i will now be relearning thanks to my time away.

lesson one: do not talk to strangers, they don't like it!
we have to show our i.d. in order to go into the elevators and due to this there is normally a herd of people waiting to tag an open elevator. and i do mean tag. these are the fastest elevator doors i have ever seen in action. if you do not put your body in the doorway as soon as it opens, it will close almost immediately. this means you are constantly in a bob and weave dance with the security person to see your i.d. while you are trying to secure an open elevator and make it in the door before it reaches its capacity limit of three people per car.



on my third day i was still trying to master the technique when i flashed my badge in a "i do this all the time" sort of way, stuck my foot out in order to stop the open door from closing and popped into the car. i did not count on the security person to call me back, forcing me to stick my head out - i was not leaving the elevator unless i had to - to answer her. meanwhile a woman joined me and waited while the security woman came over to tell me "i said hello is all".



i smiled and said thank you (awkward) and let the door close. i turned to the woman and smiled and said how nice everyone is in the building (awkward) and she said:

"yes, just like these elevator TVs are nice so you don't have to talk to anyone"


lesson two: follow by example
on my first day at work i did not leave my desk until after 6pm. this was based on my previous work experiences where leaving the office for lunch was not common and leaving before 6pm meant something tragic had happened - like your spouse died. it just wasn't done.
so i felt sure i understood i would be working late and leading a desk life when i was surprised that not a soul is left in my building after about 530. and i do mean NO ONE. it is almost weird. i am not complaining at all, but i have had to adjust to all of this time on my hands. i was uncomfortable leaving early and found the first week that i was at a loss as to how to fill up the 3 hours before decent TV was on at night. but, that is how they do it here so i shall follow the lead. i will, however, not get too comfortable since they are bound to catch on sooner or later that everyone else is still at work when we leave.

lesson 3: be friendly, if that does not work feed them
i don't have a staff. it is just me, running my own show and i like it. there are only two sales guys and both are friendly and fun. there are a handful of programmers and they basically smile at me but neither of us has any idea what the other one does. then, there is the rest of the staff. a group of people who do implementation and customer service and are by far some of the non liveliest people i have ever met. my office faces out to their domain and it is quieter than a library - all day, every day. i have tried to ingratiate myself to them but none of them were having it...until, i brought donuts. now they still do not speak to me, but sometimes (and only rarely) they will half smile when i walk by now.

in my little office the cliques have already made themselves known, the geeks obviously rule (it is a software company, after all) and i am, as usual, in the no man's land of marketing where every one's definition of my job differs from person to person.


i am already looking forward to winter break...

Sloppy Seconds

I used to have a blog called Love you Mean it and I rather loved the title and the fun of waxing lyrical on my days out in California...then I ran out of pithy comments, went on a spiritual journey of sorts on my couch in my pj's for about two months and found I had nothing to say if I was not outside living in the world.

Well, I am back living among the working class once again. Back in NYC, where humor is always finding me on the subways, in the elevators at work or during a meeting with my new co-workers during which I have no idea what they are saying in their thick russian accents!

And so inspiration came knocking again and told me to share all of my experiences with you - the reader of this non-fictional blog. (If you want fiction, please check out my other site at http://www.chocolatechipwaffles.vox.com/ )

I hope you find enjoyment among the stories and incidents to come (oh, there will be incidents!) and if you find yourself the lucky subject of an entry - take it as flattery and not target practice.