What Would Oprah Do?

I am by nature a selfish person. In fact, the show I most identify with is "The New Adventures of Old Christine" because it is like looking into a mirror at times. The main character is so hysterically self absorbed it is really laughable ... until you realize, um, that is me!

In one laugh out loud, if you have not seen it, download it NOW, episode, Christine decides to give all her problems to the universe and ask "What would Oprah do?"

This spurred me to ask myself "Self, what would Oprah do?

And so, this is how the obsession with all things Oprah began for me. I used to not be much of a fan. Every book she chooses is sad. Every show she does is sad. And don't even get me started on her "Favorite Things" list ... which is only good if you are a freaking millionaire like her!

But then I picked up a little book called "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and took the online course Oprah and Eckhart hosted and I saw Oprah in a different light. A good light. A "I don't care if she is a millionaire and has a solid gold toilet, she is doing good things for this world" light.

After reading and absorbing the book, instead of myself, I began my new mantra of "Give it to the Universe" because I figure, why just wonder "What would Oprah do?" and just do what Oprah is doing ... ?

Easier said than done.

When I am on the train and someone decides to take up two seats, smashing me into the wall and cutting off my air supply due to their body odor, I try to "give it to the universe".

When I am in line to check out at the grocery store and a woman cuts in front of me and then pretends she does not speak English, I try to "give it to the universe".

When I am paying $4.99 for milk, I try to "give it to the universe".

When I drop my tooth brush on accident in to the toilet, I try to "give it to the universe."

When I don't pay attention to the cross walk and almost get run over ... OK, that one is my fault. The universe shouldn't take the hit.

But I think I have made my point ... and although I am still reasonably selfish and make really stupid mistakes just about every single day ... I take comfort in the fact that I try to give it to the universe.

When that doesn't work, I turn on the TV to find out "What would Oprah do?"

Two Boobs Take A Walk

I know it has been a while, and for all of my 4 readers, I do apologize, but I have been very busy. Between starting my new job and finding an apartment and trying to figure out my blackberry (which I have hard erased twice) I have not had a lot of humor to share.

All that is about to change because my friend and I are walking the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in October and we are really scared!

Seriously, I have wanted to do this for a long time but when I went to the sign-up meeting and registered it did not hit me I would be walking 40 miles until I left the meeting. 40 miles. In two days. In New York. In October. What was I thinking?

I could have just donated money to this cause and been done ... but for one person in my life who won her battle with breast cancer - my Grandmother. Lorraine Welch of Friona, Texas beat her odds and therefore I can walk 40 freaking miles by golly!

So, I have started training. Which consists of me getting on a treadmill and walking for 3 miles at 4.0 speed 1.0 incline. At the end of this 45 minute session of hell, I am dead tired and sweating like a hog in Texas heat. It is not pretty. And that is 3 MILES PEOPLE!

I have made a 6 mile walk, outside on a beautiful day. I made it in 1.5 hours, crossing two bridges and several lanes of traffic. It wasn't so bad really. But the next day ... uh, yeah, the next day had me sitting in a cold bath downing aspirin and asking for mercy.

On the plus side, I have new acne from all of the excess sweat and I have new blisters on my feet from my new walking shoes. The only thing missing is chaffing but I am sure that is to come...
Stay tuned loyal readers ... this could get messy.

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Thank you for your support; you really do make a difference. Click here to visit my personal page.If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk2008/NewYork?px=4157589&pg=personal&fr_id=1660&et=txz_eGJX6VUPMVoydvaZYw..&s_tafId=283185 Click here to view the team page for Texas Ta-Tas Take ManhattanIf the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk2008/NewYork?team_id=54920&pg=team&fr_id=1660&et=Hohsd45LaGiZ4virNS84OQ..&s_tafId=283185